I was fortunate enough to attend the Shout event at the Brattle Theatre in Cambridge, MA on Wednesday, March 13th. Laurie Halse Anderson was in conversation with Jaclyn Friedman. Thank you to Harvard Book Store and Penguin Random House for hosting the book event. The Shout conversation was an empowering one. Laurie was able to talk more about the trauma she went through when she was younger and how she was raped. Speak was written in part of her experiences. 20 years later, Shout is out covering more of Laurie's experiences through poetic verse. Shout is a memoir filled with rage.Jaclyn asked Laurie if she can reflect how talking about young people has changed her in the last 20 years. Laurie said event things has changed in 10 years. Now there is more sex positivity than before but the conversation hasn't shifted much regarding sex education. These conversations haven't happened with children and teenagers. She said, "we are failing the kids." Kids are only taught about not getting pregnant or not to get STDs. They are not taught about how someone can be raped or sexually abused. 90% of attackers are people you know. Laurie talks about how we need to teach basic information about consent to young people. This is an age of offering to take care of oneself instead of sucking it up and moving on. That mentality has changed. It's not about dealing with it.
I appreciate how Laurie opens up the event with her telling her audience that if they need to step out because of what is being said in the conversation, that it is fine. If they need to get some air to clear the mind, they are free to do so. The conservation can be a trigger for some if they went through some trauma regarding abuse.
Jaclyn mentioned how people shouldn't be taking advantage of others. She talks about how "it's not a gain of acquisition." We need to change the attitude of sex. We need to nix the predator and prey formatting. "That's violence, not sex." Laurie talks about it goes back to the history of colonization and the dominance of white people over others. There is room on the table for everyone for conversation. She also mentions how this is more than just cis-gendered. This involves everyone.
Laurie wrote Shout in 2017 during the backlash of the #metoo movement. She mentions how "that book was written in fire." She wrote in rage about her experience and about what others are feeling when they are being taken advantage of. Laurie was raped when she was 13 right before she entered the 9th grade. She didn't tell anyone what happened for about 23 years. Her PTSD and depression were getting worse. Laurie came from a decade of shame and it was hard to open up what happened to her. She listens to stories of survivors of sexual violence. She said, "It's on us. I know the conversation is hard. It's not a elephant in the room. It's the elephant sitting on everyone's chest."
Laurie mentioned that when she writes the next book in the companion series, it will be called Listen. Speak, Shout and Listen. It is important to listen with real presence and love.
Jaclyn asked Laurie, "can you talk about what clicked in place for you?" During the rest of 9th grade, Laurie was high. People deal with their problems by numbing themselves. When her gym teacher told her, "you're big" in terms of size, this motivated her to join a team. She did swimming and was good a shotput. When talking about educators, Laurie says, "I'm not dead because of you." She thanks all educators whether they are teachers, tutors, coaches, etc. that they help students live. The job of a teacher or an educator is more than a subject. Children are thriving because of educators. There are changing generations of families. Laurie also tells the audience to support teacher's unions and their cause.
Laurie talks about how her aunt tells her to "follow your nightmares" instead of following your dreams. There is a kindred spirit to understand existence through books, music, etc. These forms of expression encourage human community and interaction together. She tells everyone not to be afraid of nightmares. "It's going to keep chasing you. You need to face them." Laurie encourages everyone to find spaces that are safe enough to discuss their pain. People need to access rage and channel it in a way that it is not destructive.
When Jaclyn and Laurie talk about how Laurie names her rapist It, Laurie talks about how by calling him It, it dehumanizes him. It takes the power away from him. Laurie's novel, Speak, is only 10% about her experience. She transmuted her experience through Speak. Melinda in Speak nicknames people she doesn't like but keeps the true names for people she likes. But sometimes, giving someone a certain name gives them more power. Laurie talks about how calling Voldemort He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is essentially giving Voldemort more power since people fear his name.
Laurie read one of the poems from Shout to the audience. She read "Against Innocence," which talks about the idea of innocence, oppression and suffering. She talks about what everyone's idea is about innocence. This segwayed to her talking about censorship. Many people try to censor children from reading her books. She calls censorship ignorance. Laurie talks about how parents don't want their children to read her books because of the topics conveyed in them. The reason is because parents love their children and the parents will "protect" their children. Laurie mentions how there needs to be a sense of openness to help. The parents are shielding their children away from everything; they shield them away from awkward conversations. But these awkward conversations need to happen. Laurie sees this as an opportunity for bridge building.
Jaclyn asked Laurie what her parents think of Shout. Laurie mentioned that her parents passed but she said her mother would be pissed. Her father used to be a poet. Writing about people living is protecting them in a gentle manner. Her father used to say, "the dead owns the truth." With his PTSD, it led to alcoholism and eventually to violence. The Impossible Knife of Memory is about Laurie and her father through Haley and Haley's father. I highly recommend reading The Impossible Knife of Memory. It's one of my favorite books by Laurie besides Speak and Shout.
Jaclyn asks Laurie, "Are you optimistic about the future? What do you see in store for you in the future? Laurie talks about how there is a responsibility to show as a survivor and to be a role model. There is more acceptance of LGBTQIA+ people now. There is a sense of identity searching and finding where you fit in and belong. She never knew she would see the day where gay marriage would exist. Because of that, she sees lots of opportunities in the future for all people. "The country will fulfil equality when people accept each other. Revolutions are always led by young people. I have faith in these children."
Jacklyn asked Laurie if she considers herself a brave person. Laurie exclaimed, "I am a person who stopped wasting energy thinking what other people think of me." Laurie talks about "how bravery is not absence of fear; bravery is a skill set to practice. The more you practice, the braver you get."
One audience member asked how do you approach a student who talks about betas, incels, MRA, etc.? Laurie said behavior is communication. Why is this boy saying these things to his friends and classmates? The student needs to be surrounded by love and opportunities. As an educator, this may be a yellow flag. Perhaps a guidance counselor might intervene to see if there is any violence occurring within the student's life. The adult community should be aware of what the student has been saying. Students often keep emotions bottled up. How do we help them?
The most important thing is that they need to feel safe. For Laurie, her silence is a survivor tool. We need to acknowledge that we need to fix ourselves. We need to be present for the person in need. We need a support system, an open door of conversation. But we cannot force that door open. Jaclyn mentioned how being unashamed about your feelings and your emotional state can be liberating for others to see. It’s about being a model for others. Don’t assume things and don’t badger people.
Overall, the conversation between Laurie and Jaclyn was an informative one. It's a conversation that I wish everyone was able to be present at. We need to make changes and acknowledge that change takes time but we need to be open to these changes. Things aren't the same as before. We need to voice out our opinions and take a stand in what we believe in. We need to be our own activist.
No comments:
Post a Comment